There are days when I’m at peace with the way life is going and then there are days, rather phases, when I want to start fresh. Give up on everything and everyone I have known to be on my own. It is a privilege to have people around who love you but it is also suffocating.
The idea of your own people observing or judging you is troubling. It limits you. Any animal for example a cat wouldn’t dare experimenting and acting like a dog in front of its kind.
It’s not like I want to do something in particular, but knowing eyes give me the creeps. I cannot just go through something and handle it alone peacefully, even if they’d give me the space, the knowledge that they know. They know what I’m dealing with, is what suffocates me.
To be somewhere, surrounded by strangers is comforting.
We often make our passion for one thing our obsession. When people ask me, what is that one thing I am passionate about? I end up staring in blank space and not coming up with an appropriate answer. I don’t get the concept of, “that one big dream”. How can a person be so driven by one thing his entire life?
We humans hate chaos so much so that we create types and categories. Ask anyone to describe themselves and the first thing that they’d say would have so much to do with their profession. I am a doctor, photographer, writer, teacher, dancer, well you get my point.
Our entire identity is based upon our passion. Our passion describes us. That is INSANE.
I mean come on, I can never be one person throughout. It’s just hard to let my love for something describe me or provide me with an identity.
Why are we so adamant about putting ourselves in pre-defined categories. I am human, a soul, so are you and I would like to know what and who you are apart from your, “identity” that you identify with.